Friday, August 15, 2014

Things that bug me about Alanis Morisette (and things that don't)

In keeping with complaining about things that have long since passed.  I've nothing personally against Ms. Morrissette. She is a public person and I'm allowed to criticize her.

Naturally, that Ironic song. This has been noted before. The only thing ironic about that song is that nothing in that song is ironic. Maybe it's supposed to be that way, and that is the irony. I'm not sure she was being that clever.

Secondly and most importantly is the video for "Thank U" (which apparenlty is also trying to be clever with the "U" instead of you.) U what? U-niversity of California? U-Bahn? U-nreinforced masonry?

I get the I went to India, and I came back metaphorically  naked. Shedding off the old me. No more artificial sweeteners. Cool. I walk around LA completely naked but unnoticed in the crowd. Cool too, I'm set apart from, but still part of, the crowd. Once again, there must be some profound message in that. There is also that hugging  touching presence thing, which seems to be lifted from Wim Wenders' "Wings of Desire" except the opposite. The overall idea is fantastic.

OK, but then she goes and censors the video. (As far as I know it's the same video world wide.) She went and digitally blurred part of herself. Now, it's not that I  particularly want to see all of Alanis, I don't particularly care one way or another.   If the total nudity thing wasn't cool with her,  which may have been distracting overall, or she had to bow to some record company pressure, she could have easily angled the shots, positioned herself next to objects (without being the 1960s camp thing, ---Austin Powers...) only filmed herself above the waist,  whatever, to make the same point. The blurring is distracting. The long hair thing worked fine and was pretty smart above the waist. The fact that she censored part of her body in the video (or allowed it to be censored) completely undermined the message of the video. I'm free, well not exactly. I'm free of anti-biotics but I'm not free to make the statement I'm trying to make and I'm willing to compromise my art for the sake of what?

That said, she recently posted a photo of herself nursing her son. OK, now that is awesome. Do you wear a blanket when you eat? Then why should a baby? Anything that pissed me off about her before, forget about it. You rock Alanis. 

Friday, May 23, 2014

Pretty in Pink, alternative Andie with Duckie ending.

Apparently this just keeps coming up. Molly Ringwald Q&A On The Real-Life Duckie & Jon Cryer's 'Gay Vibe' Just this March. According to Molly Ringwald, Duckie was really gay. OK.  It's ok that he and Andie didn't end up together LIKE THEY WERE SUPPOSED TO and DID IN THE ORIGINAL ENDING because Duckie was gay anyway. They hold hands like straight boyfriend & girlfriend, not straight girl & gay friend, right before entering the Prom (the holiest day of high school....) They are already a couple if they don't admit it. 

I don't know why this came up again recently. Maybe it's just that important. Maybe Molly Ringwald is still feeling guilty so she has to hang on to Duckie being gay. Maybe I stumbled across my *vinyl* copy of the totally awesome sound track and decided to see if the original ending I'd read about could be found *somewhere* and apparently even on the Duckie edition DVD, Duckie still gets screwed! Back in the VHS days, there weren't special features, deleted scenes, director self important commentary, the video for the hit single theme song, etc!  Plenty of DVD's now have all that stuff on them and alternate endings on them. I think Titanic might even! But no, you Hollywood dicks, you're still going to screw Duckie over.

 If they played the damn correct ending for "test" audiences (monkeys and lab rats) and they dug up bits of it to taunt us on the Duckie edition, it exists somewhere. Here is how it was supposed to end:The original script add the correct OMD song: Goddess of Love.Then the freeze. I think that somewhere in the movie the 1981 version of the song Pretty in Pink should show up too, but that's just me. There is some guy on YouTube that stitched together some pieces from the rest of the film to some other completely unrelated music that play like a trailer to kinda make the happy ending. Ending with the hand holding implying the rest. I guess it kinda works; and the retro music really works too, but I want to see the "lost dance." Hollywood: I HATE YOU! I hated you then and I still HATE YOU! Maybe some enterprising soul will stitch together another version...

The ending always pissed me off and it still pisses me off, as in dropped mouth WTF? pissed off, as in like why are you dumping Duckie who you really do dig already and who is totally devoted and in love with you???? Realizing what you have is better than what you want.Andie looked totally happy to see Duckie at the prom, as if she had finally realized what was meant to be. The new ending just feels forced.

People say, "oh it's a Cinderella story." No way. Bullshit. Blane isn't a Prince charming, though he's certainly not really a bad guy like that Prince asshole from Frozen. He's more like Willoughby in Sense and Sensibility. The original ending is like that, Willoughby gently letting go and  Marianne finally figuring it out with Brandon.

Warning, here comes the cynical part!

Dipshit teenagers *aren't* going to break out of their social class, especially then, whether class meant rich vs poor or New Wave vs Preppy, jock vs. brain.  Even though every rich girl is going to be listening to the Police, they're still wearing those fuzzy sweaters and Izods and hanging out with other rich assholes.  Clique is everything in High School, and while occasionally head bangers and punks hung out together, it was only because of  Motörhead.. Of course there were other exceptional cases, and Madonna kind of helped break down barriers,,,, but nobody broke out out with the Dungeon and Dragons crowd, and jocks and stoners will always be exclusive. Assholes like Steff  would have called Duckie a fag because he dressed like a prototype New Romantic, and they would have poked fun at girls like Andie, no way they'd consider going out with one of them. (Steff's interest was purely for a tactical victory....)

Duckie was just a decade before Sex and the City defined "gay straight man . . . a new strain of heterosexual male..." and had the balls to be one in High School. Duckie was the quintessential New Waver.  Totally. Dressed cool. That was the scene for him and Andie.  And this whole, "crossing class lines" crap,  there is no way Steff is going to let Blain listen to Echo and the Bunnymen anyway, but I digress... 

OK, a couple of things,

1. You don't go to the prom by yourself, except maybe in some post- modern- parent run graduation- social experiment world. In the 80s, no way, you had a date, even if it was  the girl or  boy that lived across the street you went to grade school with, you had a date. Duckie came to be Andie's standin date, and Andie came assuming she'd have a date. No date, no prom.

2. Due to #1 above, it makes absolutely no sense that Duckie would wind up with some un-escorted hot girl. There is no such thing at the Prom. The only explanation is it wasn't so much he wound up with her, as in she was being nice and dancing with him while her own jock boyfriend took a leak or something. Which is actually way cool of her. She saw how he apparently just got dumped by that weird punk rock girl she'd seen around school (who she naturally assumed was his girlfriend)

3. Blain stood her up! WTF? Duckie and Andie walk in , like you know that girl in #2 did with her boyfriend who was taking a piss while she gave Duckie a dance. Blain will always suck up to some    dickhead like Steff. How many times does she need to let that happen?

For those reasons the new ending does not even make any sense!

This is important shit. Maybe some other bloggers got it right, maybe some dipshit teenage girl isn't going to figure it out right away....and Dipshit teenagers aren't going to find "true love" in high school anyway. They have to grow up,then  have their hearts ripped from their chests and the blood squeezed out right in front of their pathetic faces a few  times anyway...Maybe boys like Duckie were fortunate to learn that lesson early, maybe Andie never was going to love him and that's that.  So we should assume that Blane and Andie are just going to break up anyway? That argument is self-contradictory.

There is true love in high school though. Kids that  wind up marrying their high school sweet heart and riding off in a their rented royal carriage to live happily ever after in their own particular castle. It really does happen. And for all the test audience Duckies in the world,  it did happen: Kimberly, you bitch. And for all the best friend Andies in the world too that wound up with their hearts broken by some preppy asshole: Robert, you prick.

Maybe I'm being a little too harsh in this post, it is a rant after all. But in this world, Andie and Duckie belong together. Test audience or not.

Tuesday, February 18, 2014

OregonLive login stinks.

OregonLive has so damn many scripts running that logging in to try and post a comment is a huge pain in the ass.

Wednesday, February 12, 2014

Waterproof Blue

Waterproof Blue was a phrase from a DJ on an obscure underground radio station (I think) in Florida sometime in the 60's. It's a long story. I attempted to open an account on some forum, and the registration mechanism got all jacked up. So I switched to Blue Jinn in the forumsphere, (which has a similar connection to the dark past.) Waterproof Blue was a lot more original than Blue Jinn, (even if borrowed from that mysterious DJ) so I"ve set up a couple of blogs and stuff to add to the confusion. There are also a handful of other Blue Jinn's hither and yon in cyberspace. Or hopefully distract from it.